The Search
Looking back over my life I can see that since my early teens I was searching for some real meaning in life. I was part of the Sixties culture where traditional values were questioned and rejected for, what was considered a free, real, lifestyle. The reality was that although some healthy alternatives were adopted, it was a life where I was the centre of the universe and all that really mattered was my own pleasure. I enjoyed life but my many short-term interests and activities were part of a vague dissatisfaction which would occasionally surface.

Spiritual Dimension
I was interested in, and believed in a spiritual dimension to life and dabbled with Yoga, Transcendental Meditation and martial arts; believed in re-incarnation (the sanitised western version) and flirted with the popular milder occult type activities such as Tarot Cards. Given half a chance I would have taken this much further. I was not unhappy, but had no sense of purpose and could never get really committed to anything. I remember walking home from work one night and thinking that whatever the meaning of life was, good or bad, then I wanted to know what it was. I never expected it to be Jesus Christ though. I thought Christianity was for "nice" people and it was dull, boring, irrelevant, powerless and generally a load of rubbish.

The Outreach
One day a local Church erected a marquee just down the road from where I lived and issued invitations for various (free!) meals, presentations and services. Out of curiosity I went to some of them - nothing dramatic happened to me but I was very struck by the Christians. I thought they were deluded but couldn't deny that they had some kind of very real faith; something they sincerely believed in and which, somehow seemed to affect them in a very positive way - something I just couldn't explain. I picked up during the week that to them Jesus Christ was more than just a belief but was someone they believed to be alive and who they actually knew! What is more they said that I had to somehow give myself over to Him before He would become real to me.

Eternal Judgement
On the last night a man spoke about eternal judgement and the need to be right with God through Christ if I would escape this. I didn't respond to this invitation but felt that at last someone had been straight with me about the meaning of Christianity and appreciated the honesty with which it was said. The week ended and the Christians went on to another location and I was left with a sense that something had departed from my life - what it was I didn't know. One night I felt that I wanted to read some of the Bible (I had a copy lying around the house - unread of course). I started reading Matthew and got as far as turning the other cheek before putting it down with a sense of it being unreal - how could I, why should I turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile, bless and pray for my enemies? I didn't realise that I was dealing with some very profound issues which needed some insight into the person of Christ before I could understand them. However, whatever was drawing me to the Bible also got me as far as actually turning my life over to Christ in my front room. And nothing happened (so I thought). So I went to bed and the next day thought I would skive off work and so duly rang in saying I was not well. When I put the phone down I was overcome with a sense of having lied and decided I would never do this again - strange!. I then got the impression that I wasn't alone, and would never be alone again - even stranger! As the day went on I realised that I had been taken at my word the night before and Christ was suddenly real, relevant, and alive. The Bible took on new meaning to me and I really wanted to read it and understand - the pages stopped reading like the Financial Times written in Arabic and became meaningful and for some reason I now believed what was written there.

The Reality of Christ
I think the biggest test of the reality of my encounter with Christ was how long it would be until I went on to the next passion in my life. Some 18 years later, I am still with Him and have a growing desire to serve Him with the whole of my life. I know of course, now, that it is He who holds on to me and who drew me to Himself in the first place. He is the meaning of life that I wanted - not as some alternative, but THE reality, the only way, the only truth and the only life. He is the One who transcends all the pleasures of this world and offers real life, now and in the eternity where He waits for me. Life is not now some kind of ideal, Nirvana type of existence. Being a Christian has faced me with some major decisions, challenges and at times difficulties and some times of deep joy but the person of Christ has become increasingly central to my life and He who "will never leave me or forsake me" is truly what I was searching for, even though I never knew it all those years ago.

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